Actually, I happen to be in a similar situation as you. My group has played games that vary in pace from Shadowrun games where we spend three real time weeks (one session per week) planning for a single run, to Pathfinder games where we clear a new dungeon every session.
Right now, we're playing a D&D 5e game set in a Dying Earth styled setting in which the world is probably going to end soon. We're all very close friends, so I think I can accurately represent some techniques the GM is doing:
Mention a prophecy. It doesn't have to have many details, or even be completely accurate, but giving the players some idea of what the end of the world is going to actually look like helps. That way, they'll know the world isn't about to end yet since they haven't seen the events of that prophecy unfold. Include several different omens, although not every omen has to be apparent right from the get-go. You might show an unexplained omen, and later have an NPC explain it to the PCs if you want the opposite effect ("oh crap the world is ending sooner than we thought").
Have NPCs prepare in a meaningful way. The players can use NPCs more well-versed in the aforementioned prophecy to gauge how close the end of the world is. In our particular example, the queen of a city-state has decreed that the citizens are to build a citadel on a particular hilltop to prepare for the end, since that's mentioned in the prophecy. The players can get a very rough idea of how close the world is to ending by knowing whether the citadel has been constructed or not; that is, the fact that an expert on the prophecy hasn't hidden away yet should mean it's still safe.
You can also take a more direct approach. If you notice that the players are getting too anxious, you can introduce a sagely NPC that feeds them more information about the prophecy, proving to them that it's not going to happen yet. In our case, we found a hermit in a myserious lighthouse in the desert, filled with clockwerk mechanisms. Turns out that this hermit has lived for perhaps hundreds of years, maintaining the beacon, and it also turns out that he's looking for a successor, because the beacon drives away aliens bent on destroying our civilization. They believe that as long as the beacon is lit, an ancient empire capable of defeating them still stands. So, in this case, the players can reasonably be assured that they're safe as long as nothing happens to the beacon.
You
I'll deal with your issues first: you are an angry 14 year old.
Don't sweat it; everybody was, is or will be. Maturity can in fact be summed up as learning not to punch the face of someone who richly deserves it.
You have to remember that you have no control over the way other people behave; you only have control over the way you behave. And ... you behaved badly. People say "I lost my temper"; this is a euphemism that means they choose to express anger in an aggressive and non-productive way. Learn to choose to react differently; no one ever changed their mind by being yelled at - at best you can get someone to back down and resent you.
Oh, and because none of us is perfect and I have chosen to "express anger in an aggressive and non-productive way" myself (and no doubt will in the future), you need to know how to recover from that. This is easy: it's called an apology. There are 2 reasons we say sorry and both are applicable here: 1. to show that you know that you behaved badly and 2. to repair the hurt you caused other people.
Him
This guy was rude; there is no doubt about that. You haven't mentioned his age or the age of the group but if this guy was an adult then this is really bad behaviour; if there were adults there who didn't intervene then this reflects poorly on them too.
All the stuff I said about you is equally applicable to him; of course, he's not reading it.
Due to the wonderful diversity of humanity you will, from time to time, encounter people who are rude. They may be rude because they are: tired, drunk, just had their dog die, just got fired, have a splitting headache or are just obnoxious p*%^ks who didn't have enough parental discipline growing up. Notwithstanding, dealing with rude people is a skill and, like any other skill, you can learn it.
Here's a quick quiz. In response to his opening remark of "Let's get this over with, I got stuff to do.", which of the following is likely to give the best outcome:
- Ignoring it
- Beating him to death with your dice bag
- "Sorry we're keeping you, why don't you leave now?"
- "I was planning on a 3-4 hour session. What time is your other appointment and we'll see what we can do to accommodate it."
No 2 could be fun but No 4 does a lot with a great deal of economy, it:
- doesn't let the rude remark slide through unremarked
- shows that you care about his problems (both the other appointment and his rudeness)
- establishes expectations on timeframe
- establishes your authority
- enables the group as part of the solution
- shows what a nice guy you are.
Note: even if you say this you don't have to accommodate him! Polite and nice are not the same thing.
Expectations
When you sit down to play chess you know what you are going to get but when you ask someone to play football and you come ready for soccer and they come ready for gridiron; you have a problem. Ways of playing D&D range from treating it as a tactical war game to be won to using it as improv theatre and everything in between. All of these are valid and it's you job to give the players (including yourself) what they want out of the game.
Take 5 minutes next time you meet to find out what type of play each player prefers and describe your preferred style to them.
I think of agency as:
Players making informed decisions that have reasonable consequences
The D&D 5e Player's Handbook neatly encapsulates this in the "How to Play" section on page 6 and it is applicable to all RPGs that have DM/GM (some don't):
The DM describes the environment
The players describe what they want to do
The DM narrates the results of the adventurers’ actions
"I kinda got nerdy and got really into setting the scene. It was an opening narrative, so it took about 4–5 minutes for me to give all the backstory to the local area."
Cool, at what point did this lead to step 2: The players describe what they want to do? How much of it was describing the choices they could make? How much of the information was relevant to those choices? RPGs are a dialogue, not a monologue; unless the player's feel like they are involved in the storytelling then they might as well be at a book reading.
Back story is fine but if it was good it would be part of the story; the reason it is back story is that it is not enough fun to be the story. Back story may need to be there (or not) but it should emerge from the play; not be read at the players.
Scene setting is about providing just enough information that the player's can see the choices and have enough information to intelligently choose one; remembering that choosing to seek more information is always one of the choices.
For example:
It's a dark and stormy night when the captain puts you ashore in front of the imposing wall of the jungle. "This is where I left your friend; I'll be back at dawn five days hence. Don't be late!"
The beach stretches off in both directions, a narrow strip of sand bathed in moonlight. There are no obvious paths into the undergrowth. Sailors are carrying your possessions off the longboat and dropping them above the high water mark.
What do you do?
The scene is set and its now the player's turn.
Do they have enough information to make intelligent choices? No but you have handed them the initiative and they are now free to ask questions about what interests them. They might:
- Talk more to the captain
- Ask about their "friend"
- Ask what supplies they have
- Ask what the jungle/beach looks like
- Decide to troop straight off into the undergrowth (your job involves enabling idiots, too)
- Cast some long duration spells
- Cast Fly to take a look round
- Do something neither you nor I have thought of which is where the ultimate fun of DMing a RPG lies - dropping players into a situation and seeing what they do to it.
Now it is possible that some player's will not be comfortable with taking the initiative but the overwhelming likelihood is that within the group one or two will shoulder leadership roles. If so, they can start the ball rolling; I would suggest that you ask the other players "Are you happy with that?" to up their level of involvement.
In the unlikely event that no one seizes the opportunity, you can go on to enumerate what you think they can do. Some people like to pick from the menu rather than having to write it themselves first.
Best Answer
There are no set rules.
But it is discussed at length under Chapter 8: Running the Game in the DMG. There is a section on Dice Rolling, where it talks about some of the things to consider before starting the game. Best bit of advice in there, IMO?
It all comes down to your relationship with the players, and how you like to run the game. Just ask them! Be sure to tell them what you prefer too! Some of them may like all rolls to be done up front. But you should also balance that with speed of the game, and keeping an air of mystery. Also, making every roll in the center of the table where everyone can see can get to be a pain.
Personally, I do a hybrid system:
A Note on Passive Skills
Passive skills are akin to "rolling behind the screen". They are pre-calculated to provide an extra layer of concealment to avoid signaling to the players. Players will notice when the DM starts rolling dice. Especially after they said they take an action. Relying on a passive skill number allows the DM to assess a contested skill roll with no dice rolling at all.
There is a great Dragon Talk on Stealth that also talks about how to use Passive Skills. Give it a listen. It helped me grok how 5e handles Passive skills.
Also check out this great answer on Passive Skills and how to use them.
Using "Result-less" Concealed Dice Rolls To Motivate Players
Since players have a Pavlovian response to the DM rolling concealed dice, one very fun technique is to roll concealed dice to get the game back on track. Inevitably, every game stalls. It's just how it goes. I have found that sometimes, when the players are stuck discussing the best way to open a door, if you start rolling dice behind the DMs screen, they tend to get moving.
Fudging Rolls
Rolling everything concealed does afford you some more control over the flow of the game. If things start going south for the PCs you can turn hits into misses, lower damage, miss saving throws, etc. Conversely, if they are sailing through, you can turn misses into hits, etc.
Although this is possible, just be assured that there are other ways to control the flow of combat to make things easier or harder on the PCs. Like raising and lowering hit points mid-battle, changing monster tactics, decreasing monsters in an encounter, and others. So don't use this as your reason for concealing all rolls.
Overall, I would avoid any fudging. It can sap the excitement from the game, or turn the game into a slog. For me, there is one exception to this rule. When designing encounters, I have at times overestimated or underestimated a party's capabilities. If its not by too much, then that's OK. But if I grind them into the dirt, or they cake walk through the dungeon, I will probably fudge. And if it is a really bad PC rout, sometimes you have to fudge to-hit and damage rolls as immediate triage.
Roll Enhancing Abilities vs. Hidden Rolls.
Sometimes a player has an ability that allows them to modify rolls (Bardic Inspiration, Lucky, etc.) This is a limited resource, and players will want to use it judiciously. But, in the case of a hidden roll the DM is taking some of that decision making process out of their hands. IMO, the DM should honor player abilities, and give the player the benefit of the doubt. It lessens the fun to cripple a player ability because of how you choose to make your die rolls.
With that said, when a player has that ability, I typically give the players some indication of the result of the check, before I announce the results. I try to do this in game (as much a possible). Note: I also try to do this before initiative rolls - it allows the players to decide if they want to go to combat or try a different route. YMMV, but I find it to be much more fun as it gives the players a chance to surprise me. Example:
IMO, At the very least the DM should give the player some idea how difficult the task is, if not outright give them the DC, if it is not opposed. If it is opposed, then give some indication of the antagonist's ability. Wolves are known for their incredible tracking skills and ability to find hidden things or You have only ever heard rumors about the Shadowmaster, so researching his father's name is going to be a very difficult task. You might want to use your class abilities or cast spells.
I typically do this whenever an opposed or hidden roll is close, say within 3 points - be it a success or failure for the player. It just adds to the tension and makes the game more fun for everyone. Somethings I have not considered, but probably need to:
This comes with a caveat: if they have no way of knowing that there would be a hidden roll, then they must make the decision to spend their ability with little to no DM input. For example, if someone decides to stealth across a field, and they have no way of knowing that an owlbear nesting in the treeline, I would probably not indicate they might be seen. The only info they get to make a decision is their die roll.
So no firm answers, but in general, defer to they players abilities and them spending resources, and give them a fair shake. Follow the rule of improv, and typically answer "yes, and...."
Rolling For Players
One suggestion in the DMG is:
I have to say that I have never tried that method. Most of the people I play with do not want others to roll for them. That is super old school though. Your players will probably be different. When the PCs are in such a situation I would then fall back to a passive skill.
In the end, just roll with it, and you'll get the hang of it. Just listen to your players and find a system that works for both them and you.