In this thread, Lorenzo notes that steaks may end up raw in the center if you only leave 'em out for 10-15 minutes to come up to temperature. I recommend 30 mins, but it will probably vary on what room temperature actually is for you.
From Weber's Way To Grill, which recommends salting right when you take them out of the fridge, here's Mr. Purviance's take on why you should consider salting early:
It's true that salt draws moisture toward itself, but over the course of 20 to 30 minutes that's a good thing, because the salt begins to dissolve into that little bit of moisture. When the steak hits the hot grate... [you] create a delicious crust. Any moisture you might lose is well worth the flavor of that crust.
You should be able to get a reasonable steak stovetop using a cast iron grill pan, if you have a strong enough exhaust. Oil the cast iron pan (with canola or such), then heat it very hot, until it starts to smoke. Make sure the meat is completely dry on the outside (wipe with a paper towel, water will prevent browning) and gently place in the pan. Leave it there for a minute or two (it'll smoke quite a bit!), rotate 90° to get the nice grill marks. Leave for another minute or two. Flip, and repeat for the other side.
It may splatter, have a splatter screen handy. It will smoke, quite a bit, make sure the exhaust is on high.
You will probably have a medium-rare steak now. Using a thinner cut will make it more well done (you can cut a thick steak in half with your chef's knife, making two thin steaks); so will plopping it in the oven (not sure if you want the oven before or after searing, I like 'em medium rare...).
Remember to let the meat rest for 5 minutes or so before serving.
Also, if your steaks are coming out ridiculously tough, you're probably using the wrong cut of meat, or some terrible grade. What cut are you using?
[edit: I should note that, in case it wasn't obvious, the burner should be up pretty high]
Edit by rumtscho There is a reason this answer specifies a cast iron pan. If you are limited in your cookware choice, pay attention to the maximum temperature your pan can tolerate. If you are using a non-stick pan, you have to go on medium heat and wait longer, else you'll damage the pan. (And sorry, but you can't get it as tasty as on high heat that way).
Best Answer
Shredded is the correct term...maybe ropa vieja? This dish is typically made with flank steak that is shredded with the grain of the meat. The Mexican version is cooked, shredded and then browned, usually in a pan on the stove, but back on the grill does not seem unreasonable. It is typically served in a tortilla, with condiments.