Will a lid with a hole in it work with a crock pot

I suspect "warm" is meant to maintain temperature, rather than raise it. My crock pots are too ancient to have anything other than "high" and "low", so I can't assert any real authority. However, if you reach 145F within the first hour at the highest setting, then keep it at "warm", and test the temperature after about 30 minutes with an instant-read thermometer and it stays around 140-160F, you'll probably be fine. Personally, I'd test the temperature first by cooking water.

If the temperature stays above 140F at low, the worst risk you'll have is overcooking. Beans and vegetables like carrots and celery can overcook fairly easily in a crock pot, but higher collagen meats meant for stews tend to be fine when cooked for extended periods. Most crock pot recipes for stews and soups usually hold fine when at low for a full workday, although that's presuming a somewhat 70s-era soup aesthetic, which is probable for a crockpot recipe.

However, I would be inclined to attempt the recipe using the low setting rather than reducing it to warm, if you're not going to test the temperature first. If it turns out to be overcooked, you can always puree the ingredients with a blender...

I also doubt that switching to "warm" would be dramatically less likely to overcook the food than "low", unless it holds at a pretty stable 140F, and low ends up somewhere around 160F.

It sounds like you were expecting slow cooking to be like sous vide. Well, it's not. The point isn't controlled sub-boiling temperatures, it's something on the border between simmering and boiling for foods that just need a long time to cook at that approximate temperature.

Slow cooker recipes are not supposed to be very sensitive. They're expecting to be approximately boiling for most of the time, and the difference between low and high is pretty much whether the boil is marginal or a bit more substantial. In many cases, this just matters because the quantity in the pot varies, and it takes more to keep the stuff at the top hotter if it's farther from the bottom, or if it hasn't all cooked down into the liquid yet. In either case, it shouldn't be a full rolling boil; it's just boiling on the bottom, so the rest of the liquid is probably a bit below the boiling point. And yes, this is still slow cooking. It's not boiling fast enough to lose a huge amount of liquid (or worse, boil over) with the lid on.

I wouldn't really try to assign temperatures to slow cooker recipes. Like I said, they shouldn't be that sensitive. If your bean soup recipe didn't work, maybe it was a bad one. But "reliable" in the context of slow cooker recipes doesn't mean "exact times and temperatures". They're generally things that will be perfectly fine if you cook them 25% longer. Not everything in the kitchen has to be precise and formulaic; slow cookers and slow cooker recipes take advantage of that fact. And even if you do try to calibrate, you'll have trouble, since there's a temperature gradient from bottom to top. Unlike sous vide, a slow cooker is not constantly well-mixed. In equilibrium it'll be boiling at the bottom, and 10-20 degrees cooler at the top.

If you really wanted to use a sous vide controller, I imagine something like 95-98C would work for basically every slow cooker recipe, no matter whether they say high or low. Of course, mixing thoroughly enough to make your controller actually work, you may be overstirring whatever you're cooking. But the point is, things you cook in a slow cooker aren't really going to care much what the exact temperature is; it just matters that it's hot, near boiling, and not boiling so fast that it sticks on the bottom or loses a lot of liquid.

Finding reliable recipes... Well, it's like anything else. If you're looking on the internet, you have to learn to judge for yourself and look for warning signs, or stick to sites with lots of reviews. You also have to accept that sometimes you have to test for doneness and be flexible about time. This isn't really unusual; baking recipes should always have some kind of test ("until golden brown") and the actual baking times will vary. (With something like bean soup, sure, maybe the recipe was bad, maybe you didn't soak enough, maybe the beans were a little different. A stovetop recipe wouldn't have been precise either.) If all that isn't good enough for you, buy a slow cooker cookbook; tons of those have been published in recent years.