In the spirit of this question, "How profane is it to call someone a
'slag' in British English", how insulting is "wanker" in British English on the spectrum of profanities and vulgarities? What's the typical usage if you wanted to insult someone?
(I probably ask because as a word it's quite amusing to me. I don't think it would be unfair to say that in American English, the word isn't very insulting at all; mostly, it would light joshing to me. But frequently in the British movies I watch, cunt, a very verboten word in AmE, is used as almost a playful opener in the repartee of insults, and things only really escalate into trouble when someone calls the other "wanker!" in an exaggerated style. So I'm supposing it must be quite a bit more serious over the pond. On the other hand, they are just movies.)
Best Answer
It's probably worth prefixing all this with the caveat that, as discovered from the discussion on your previous question, this does vary quite a bit between from place to place (and possibly between classes, professions, sexes etc...), so do beware that what answers you get may well not apply to the whole of the UK :)
I'm not sure which films you've been watching, but the reaction you've observed may have more to do with the tone the words are used with: if you walk into a pub and call someone you don't know a cunt, you can be fairly certain of a fight. If you instead call them a wanker, your chances of getting away without a fight are better, but only slightly so. With either word, anyone being referred to with it is likely to get very angry.
That said, just saying the word wanker is much less shocking than saying cunt: in the place I work (which is admittedly rather tolerant of so-called "bad language"), people might often use the word to express their frustration with someone (though never anyone working there) — say, a persistent and rude telemarketer who won't leave them alone, or a particularly unhelpful customer service rep from the phone company. Or perhaps someone who cut them up on their drive to work. Use of the "c-word" is much more rare (that would be reserved for someone who had, say, driven into their car and written it off...). And it is telling that there is no corresponding expression "the w-word". (Well actually there are many possibilities — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 — but none of them refer to "wanker"!)
Of course the dynamics of insults are very different between close friends, where much stronger language can be used, and indeed being incredibly rude can often be a mark of affection. Tone is everything, and I would never advise doing this unless you are totally sure what you are doing!