Learn English – Is this emotion envy

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I was thinking about an emotion that consits of a desire for achieving a goal which appears in a person when they observe others having achieved this same thing.

examples:

  • A friend tells me they successfully ran the marathon. I start thinking how much I would enjoy having the skill to do this as well and doing it. I realize that I don't know how to achieve this goal – like I don't know how to train to have that much stamina.

  • I meet somebody who is fluent in a foreign language. I have been trying to learn the same language for a while, but I see the other person is much better than me and I wish I could do that as well.

Can the word envy be used to describe this emotion? Is there a better word? I have always associated envy with desire to be in a better state than others – either by taking away something they have or being better than them at what they do. To say it in a different way, I associate envy with negative emotions toward another person. I'm not a native speaker, so I don't know if this is accurate.

Best Answer

I would recommend being careful when using the word Envy

From your descriptions, I feel like you are describing someone's disappointment in their-self as much as a desire for them to have what someone else has.

I am hearing more "longing" or wishful even a type of "wistfulness" (which implies more that you regret not doing what they've done rather than wanting what they don't have)

Still it is a hard decision because Wistful would NOT express that you wanted what someone ELSE had, only that you wanted something you didn't have.

There are multiple definitions of wistful - I am including one (some other definitions of the word emphasize nostalgia or the longing for something past)

Wistful definition excerpt from Dictionary.com

British Dictionary definitions for wistful wistful /ˈwɪstfʊl/ adjective

1. sadly pensive, especially about something yearned for

Contrast that to Envy (I bolded resentful)

Envy at Oxford Dictionaries NOUN

1A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

The synonyms to envy that Thesaurus.com gives are even more suggestive (atlhough Envy doesn't quite go this far)

hatred illwill malice prejudice resentment rivalry backbiting coveting covetousness enviousness grudge grudging heartburn lusting malevolence maliciousness malignity opposition spite

It is up to you what should be emphasized.

I would suggest that using words like Envy, or Jealousy would describe a person's feelings in a way not only wishful for what they did not have, but also some degree of bad feelings toward the other person (maybe only a small degree, but some)

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