In an effort to clarify my quandary, is it appropriate to use this statement to give condolence:
I know you were only trying to help.
Or, does only imply that you did more harm than good? It feels like it does.
My confusion is that the statement,
I was only trying to help.
does not imply that I was only trying to help, but I admit that I caused harm.
Best Answer
"I was only..." implies that the outcome went beyond, or differed from, the intent: "only trying to help," "only saying x and y," etc. The "but..." is implied because of that conditionality. The word "only" limits a statement to a specified context.
I think it goes a little further though: "but..." isn't inherently negative. The backhanded feel likely comes from the dissonance in the word "only." —"you were only trying to help" rarely means that the other party did more good than was intended. The word "only" reiterates and emphasizes the fact that the outcome differed from the intent or expectation.