Learn English – Using a comma before with “with”

No, you should not put a comma after an ellipsis. Use either the ellipsis by itself or the comma by itself. Wikipedia has an example of an ellipsis immediately followed by a comma, but this is abnormal in the context of writing dialogue. It would not contribute to a natural feel.

Also, you don't deserve isn't its own clause, it is you don't deserve your shield (one clause) rearranged into your shield you don't deserve. No comma. Edit: I'll let this drop, since the example lacks sufficient context to determine the form of the sentence.

I can't comment very well on the second part of the verse, since I don't know what it means or how it relates to the first part. All I can say is that assuming the second part does make sense, the following is a better option:

[...] your shield, you don’t deserve... nor how can I put into the line?

There is no reason why a comma should not be placed after a number in such a situation.

We bought a pound of butter, a dozen eggs (that's 12, Mark) and a pint of milk.

makes sense assuming, perhaps facetiously, Mark may not understand what a dozen means.

However this is not what is meant in the phrase

that would make 130,000 Kiwis

The reference is to 3% of the population of Switzerland eating dogs. This applies to Switzerland (although it may not be true). What the writer means is that if this 3% applied to New Zealand then it would be 130,000 New Zealanders. 3% of the population of New Zealand is about 130,000. Switzerland has more people.

So what the writer means is that if the same proportion of Kiwis ate dogs, as it is suggested Swiss do, then that would be 130,000 New Zealanders.

If you look at the populations of New Zealand and Switzerland this corroborates the meaning. It could have been written much more clearly.