I’m writing a short prose piece for an academic audience and need to know whether the following sentence sounds right, especially its first clause:
What he had just said, especially that final sentence, really
enlightened me.
The context here is that I’m recounting a story in the past where person A has just told me something interesting, and the quoted sentence describes its effect on me.
I do believe the use of had in the sentence above is correct. Could anyone explain why is it correct if it is, or if it is not, then why it does not sound right to use this way?
Best Answer
Better looking is, What he had just said—especially the last sentence—really enlightened me. The em-dashes indicate a break in the flow of the sentence, whereas the commas seem to be used appositively, which, while not incorrect, is not strong enough (it seems to me). Alternatively, parentheses [brackets in UK] could be used in place of em-dashes.