My girlfriend and I are in a game my friend started a while ago. (We're playing D&D 5e.) It is his first game, but we all DM other games at the same time. I feel I have done a lot of research into DMing and my skills have improved a lot. I have taken a lot of notes from Matt Mercer and Critical Role. I feel as though my friend's DM style has not similarly improved and has become pretty bland.
The DM has us make multiple skill checks without consequences and other repetitive or boring tasks. His descriptions are usually short and uninteresting. For example:
DM: You're in a forest… roll Perception.
ME: rolls 18
DM: you see a pair of bugbears just walking around (he does this a lot where he states things we see but doesn't put a threat or reason)
ME: (knowing this, I try to make a reason) how much do I know about bugbears?
DM: Roll… ummm… Nature
ME: rolls 22
DM: you know… a lot about them.
ME: so I know they'd come after me if they saw me?
DM: yes
ME: engages by polymorphing one into a rabbit, other one smashes it and charges
initiative: fight was over in about 5 minutes because I cast slow on it, my party member shot it with an arrow, and I nailed it with a firebolt. dead
DM: You're still walking in a forest… roll Perception
ME: 14
DM: you don't see anything… roll Perception again
Outside of game he seems really excited about his story, but its like forcing down medicine to play sometimes. As a player, he's very engaging and immersed in the world, describing every attack he makes and such, but when he DMs it's basically "you hit, you deal x damage, next in initiative".
I've talked to him a bit, but he got a bit depressed afterwards. He's kind of a touchy soul so I'm kind of hesitant to say much more.
Is there anything I could do as a player to possibly engage him? Should I be asking to do things in game that I, personally, think he should be prompting me to do?
So my question is: as a player, how can I can inspire my DM to give more to his game than he currently does, without hurting his feelings or criticizing him?
Best Answer
Probably the simplest way of thinking about this reduces down to four basic scenarios, two of which we'll be able to eliminate immediately.
The first two, assuming you are speaking for the entire group, are almost certainly untrue. (The second one seems a little odd, but I've seen it happen. We all know GMing can be hard work, and issues of introversion, stage fright, etc can cause anxiety in the GM even though the players are all fine with the GM's job.)
So the first part of helping to fix this is to figure out which of the second two cases you are actually in. I see signs of both in your description. "you know...a lot about them," seems like something most GMs, even beginners, would realize as an inadequate answer in one sense or another. On the other hand, "Outside of game he seems really excited about his story," possibly suggests that he thinks everything is going fine.
In my experience, people who want to do something well, and realize that they aren't, may be more receptive to criticism than people who think they are doing just fine, thank you very much. The latter case may involve shattering some illusions.
Another important thing to realize is that people get better at things due to experience (which this GM manifestly does not have a lot of) due to research (which you have done but this GM probably has not, as he is new at this) and due to constructive criticism and helpful feedback. Especially in a performative art like GMing, it is hard to know if you are really hitting your target without feedback from the audience, and that feedback is both the GM's responsibility to pick up on, and the players' responsibility to provide, without crushing his ego.
All of that pre-amble leads to a central notion of communicating better with your GM both in-game and out-game, but doing so gently.
In-game, you can do things like:
Ask for more of what you want to see. But that does mean asking rather than telling. In your example about the bugbears, you started with asking but reverted to filling in details, feeding them to the GM and getting ratification. It'll be awkward, and it can be overdone, but getting these details to flow from the GM instead of you is key.
In-game, a few mild pointers on mechanics and craft might help, e.g., "Should we really be making those perception checks ourselves? I shouldn't really know my own roll for that, should I?"
In-game and out-game, as a veteran player and GM who is trying to be a model player, I would try very hard to get myself aligned with what this GM finds interesting. This may very well be confounded by the GM himself, but there may be a dynamic going here, where the GM feels obligated to put filler material (for verisimilitude; for mechanical reasons-- to expend a certain amount of your resources, say; for pacing reasons, etc) but is not actually that interested in it himself. The bugbear example might be a case of that, too-- GM feels obligated to put in filler, you feel obligated to follow up on it, no one is happy.
Out-game, praise what you like. I cannot say this strongly enough, so I will shout: OUT-GAME, PRAISE WHAT YOU LIKE. Your GM is not a mind-reader and there is no better way to get his attention than just telling him, "Man, when X and Y happened, and you described Z doing W, that was just awesome!"
Out-game, depending on your answer to the initial question (does he think he's doing well or not) you can always offer to give him a straight-up set of opinions on what went well and what went bad. But it helps immensely to have a feel for how receptive he is to hearing the downsides, and you should be aware that gentleness goes a long way, here.
Out-game, you can always just ask your GM what parts of the game he finds most interesting, and if there are any things you can do as a player to help focus on the interesting parts.