Well that sounds about par for the course. I have a regular group that I DM for since 2009, and your player archetypes sound pretty familiar to me. (And yes, those are the real archetypes, not what is described in the DMG).
Don't worry so much
First off, don't worry so much. From your post, it seems like it's going ok. The important part is that you have fun. If the group has fun, there's not a big problem, even if you as a DM might feel you are doing stuff wrong.
Talk about it
After a session, or maybe during a coffee or smoke break, ask the players about these topics. What do they like, what do they dislike? How do they think the game can be improved?
If everyone says it's fine, great. If not, I am sure they have some suggestions for improvement. I do this after every session, sometimes for 3 minutes, sometimes we discuss this for half an hour or more. It really helps.
Play to the player's strengths
If a player or his character is good at something (and everyone has has a speciality), give him or her a chance to use this strength. So the rogue player is inventive - give him a chance to use his wits. What I do is that I generally prepare some specific additional puzzles or challenges for them. I think the best way to integrate those is if you have a fight and at the same time some additional pressing matter that people have to attend to, either with some skill checks or just with good ideas. So maybe while the party deals with the brunt of the attackers, someone must slip through the enemy ranks and disable the ballista before the city walls are down.
Help your players
So the ranger treats this like a video game, but is not pro-active enough. Well, he doesn't have to go shopping. Drop some loot for him that is a part (one third) of a magic bow. Maybe a bow string made out of dryad hair? This should awaken his video gamey instinct to collect all parts, involve him more into the story and finally lead to him getting a better bow.
Some answers on this board stress how important player agency and pro-active players are for the game. I am not sure I fully agree with this. Some people are just naturally more passive, and if you can help them so they have more fun and everyone has more fun, just do it.
Use mechanics to cover the player's weaknesses
For the wizard - maybe propose Sense Motive, Gather Information or similar (Insight in 5e) checks when you feel he's missing something. If he succeeds the check, give him a hint. Like this, you can use the character's strength to cover the player's weaknesses. And after a few successes, it is likely that the positive reinforcement will lead to the player doing this on his own more often.
A similar thing about this assertiveness: Have a friendly NPC cast a spell him, or maybe an enemy a curse, and tell him how this makes him feel more assertive, mighty and filled to the brim with power. Sometimes this helps such players to slip into a role they would not otherwise take on.
On the other hand, specifically this is not really a problem in my eyes - a nerdy shy wizard doesn't seem so out of place.
Offer help with their characters
So this is a two-sided sword. It might be a great help, but can also ruin a lot. Make sure the players want and appreciate your help with their characters before doing anything. You really want to avoid messing with 'their guy' if they don't want you to. But if done right, it can be a great help to certain players.
One of my players is like your barbarian player. Doesn't like to read the rules, but is very enthusiastic and a great addition to the game. Before a new campaign, I generally have a skype conf with him and discuss the background a bit and what character he wants to play. Then I build a character for him, send it to him and we discuss some changes he usually wants. Once we have a character he's happy with, I make him a nice colourful character sheet in Numbers with all the important stuff up front. This worked out very well. It allows him to focus on the game, and not worry about details or picking whatever CharOp stuff from way too many sources he's not interested in, while still playing his concept and being on a similar power level as other players who are more into optimising.
Allow them to rebuild or change characters (within reason)
Sometimes, a new player might choose a character that doesn't really fit his play style. Might be the wizard player would be happier with a sorcerer - new players tend to fare better with the simpler approach of having a few known spells instead of building a spellbook and preparing their daily prepared lists.
The system
Finally, maybe D&D 3.5e is not the ideal system for players who don't read up on the rules themselves. If your group is open to change the system, I can suggest two options:
D&D 5e. While similar in many respects, it has one advantage: A lot of stuff is just way simpler and easier than 3.5. While 3.5e is my personal favourite among all D&D editions, for my main group, I have switched to 5e, and we haven't looked back.
Games with far less rules: Dungeon World or Fate come to mind. I have played them, and had fun, but for my group, it was not the right choice. We like the miniature battles and everything around that. But those are certainly great games.
And, in the end, the evil master plan
Of course, all this cuddling and making players happy only serves one goal: to make them experienced enough so you can start being a true evil dungeon master. Once they know the system, know their characters and have a fair chance to survive bad things, the fun starts: Poison, traps and and horrible dismemberment. It's no fun punishing them if they have no chance to deal with it. But once they have shown they are up for the task, you can start driving the finger screws in, and let them into the tomb of horrors.
This player isn't the problem: your expectations mismatch is the problem
It looks like you each are looking to enjoy the game for slightly different reasons 1- your enjoyment looks to favor immersion and in-character play. You feel like you have to force the issue ...
I'm worried that I'm going to have to start punishing him for
basically doing nothing
and so you ask:
Any advice to try to get someone like Bob into the RP aspect of the
game before the DM hammer has to come down?
I answer: change your attitude as a DM.
This is a friend of yours, as you say, and you have taken the position that you need to force him to have fun the way you think it ought to be. This may be unintentional, but that's the signal that's coming across the wires.
Stop yourself, and step back a bit.
The four of you may need to get on the same page about what you each want out of this game together. A Session Zero is where you all make an input regarding what you hope to get out of the game (details at the linked Q&A). You may find out that each of your players have somewhat different expectations than you do -- which is fine. Talking to each other about it and arriving at a compromise goes a long way toward curbing your current frustration.
On-line RPG has some obstacles that 'in the flesh gaming' does not
I love to play in the flesh RPG games, but my current set up has me playing more over Discord or ROll20. I have found some significant obstacles with the on line tools, even though they are a great way to play with friends who are all over the world/map.
- You lack the immediacey of the "at a table" social context
- Visual cues, and some subtle vocal cues, are often missed.
- Play is a bit slower than in the flesh
- People can tune out or wander off and it takes a while to figure that out. At a table, getting up and leaving is rather obvious.
All of these drawbacks amplify the disconnect between your player and you in terms of how much engagement with the fictional world that you expect (more) and he expects (little). It is easier to get and provide feedback in person since all cues are available.
Paladins are driven by their oaths, not by gods, in this edition.
I'd suggest that you take a look at the PHB and this Q&A to better understand how paladins work in this edition. You are however correct from an "in universe" aspect: choosing an oath will inforom the PC's RP from that point on. Where you may be making a mistake is in trying to force it.
Let the player grow into RP at their own pace
Forcing RP is a real turnoff. (This from experience in both direction, as GM and as player). Trying to force immersion just doesn't work. Encouragement of both is the better approach.
Related Q&As about encouraging Role Playing
How to get the players to care and RP more?
How to introduce and encourage role playing in non-roleplayers?
How can I encourage my D&D Encounters group to do more role playing?
How do I transition my players from roll-playing to role-playing?
You mentioned in a comment:
I'm rather imaginative and tend to try to push people when I fell that they are not participating. Really what the problem boils down to is that I want to try to get him more immersed in the game, but need advice as to the best route to do that.
Each player will seek, and enjoy, immersion in-game at a different level. Your encouragement to increase immersion will be improved in play by asking questions of the character when they take an action, and by describing how the world reacts to the character's decisions:
Example: the paladin does something, and you ask:
- What's the motive behind that?
- How does that fit your character's personality, background, and profession?
And then ... listen to the answer.
Make sure you put effort into describing the world, and the reaction of the NPC's to the things that the player does. Let them see through your narration how the world responds to them. That will help a little with immersion, I have found.
Some useful techniques for encouraging "in-character" behavior are in this Q&A.
I'm all for PCs doing as their players see fit, and honestly any RP
from him is better than none, but the problem is that he is a level 2
Paladin. Next level, that is coming fast, he is going to have to take
his oath. Paladin is a class that requires a lot of RP to satisfy his
god and I'm worried that I'm going to have to start punishing him for
basically doing nothing, which I believe will turn him off of the
game.
In my experience, you believe correctly.
If you want more RP out of this character use the carrot, not the stick. Encourage this player to engage more "in game" and above all ...
Be patient
You can't force fun.
1Notes on play styles and how people engage with a role playing game:
- There's a summary of Robin Laws' fine description of player styles here
- You will also find in the Dungeon Masters Guide (p. 6) a breakdown of ways that players have fun by engaging with the game. Not all styles mesh perfectly.
Best Answer
I'm assuming your players already understand the basic concept of roleplaying.
The Ground Rules of Roleplaying
Tell your players that roleplaying is supposed to be fun. They should do what they think is fun, but they shouldn't ruin other people's fun. Forget not that the GM is also a people whose fun can be ruined.
Also explain to players that sometimes they can Decide To Act Differently.
Reasons For Roleplaying
Characters need reasons to do things. Ask your players to establish goals, and instead of (just?) rewarding them for killing monsters, reward them for accomplishing story goals.
Ask them up front what their goals are, and then tell them how much XP those goals are worth. Big rewards for big and hard to accomplish goals, small rewards for small goals. You can also allow them to divide big goals into smaller goals, because that's how you plan things.
If they need inspiration for goals, then I suggest looking at Fiasco play sets. They are a great way to give goals to characters. A bunch of them are free on DriveThruRPG, and they are largely self explanatory.
You should also require that characters have relationships to the world. Every character should have someone they want to see dead, someone they would do anything to save, and a reason for being in the party.
Reasons for being in the party can be nearly anything:
Enemies and friends are useful to the GM, because it gives you more story hooks.
Feel free to reward characters for having good goals: "So you're in love with the mayor's daughter, and you want to impress her enough that she'll not just jump in your bed, but actually marry you? Well, you may have the Codpiece of Smooth Talking that you inherited from your uncle Don Juan Casanova, which gives you +5 to Seduction rolls. That'll help you with the daughter, but it won't help you much with her father."
Techniques for Roleplaying
If they can't think of how to play their characters, then I suggest looking at the techniques of improv. Play Unsafe by Graham Walmsley explores how improv can be used to roleplay, or you can Google for improv techniques.
I also recently found an article with 11 ways to be a better roleplayer, which your players may be interested in.
The Reward Cycle
The system you use matters, because game systems are geared towards reinforcing certain behaviour.
Typically, DnD encourages murderhobo behaviour. You kill monsters, sell the loot, buy the shinies, and then go kill more monsters. If you don't want that, then don't reward them at all for killing things. Reward them for completing story goals.
Say they're hunting for treasure in a cave - the treasure is the monetary reward, but if they can figure out a way to not murder the goblins who live in the cave, then they should still get the XP for getting to the treasure and they don't run the risk of dying.
You can also explicitly reward players for good storytelling. You can ask them things like "Is this action cinematically appropriate?" and if so, give them circumstance bonuses. "Swinging on the chandelier? +15 Swashbuckling bonus!"
If you want to show your players that storytelling is fun too, then I suggest playing Fiasco for a session or two instead.
And in conclusion
Tell your players what you expect from them. Explain the principles, then give them concrete examples.
But don't forget the rule of fun - don't force them to do things they don't think are fun, because they always have the option of just leaving. If they really want to play murderhobos... then let them!
And don't worry about it too much. Humans are naturally geared to telling stories. After all, like Terry Pratchett said: