After 30 years, a few of my friends and I finally managed to get together and play D&D. We've managed to play 2hrs once a week for the last 6 weeks.
I unfortunately ended up being the DM. My problem is that the players, in spite of being given an obvious quest and hooks into multiple possible adventures, seem completely uninterested in doing anything other than sleeping with every NPC.
It's not just Ingsaw the Tiefling Barbarian sweeps Lady Winsome off her feet and carries her to the bedroom where they spend the night. They want graphic details of every act. Also the two women players are just as bad as the three guys.
At the beginning of the last session, I even said that I was uncomfortable with the X-rated content our game was generating. I declared that starting with that session that any hint of having sex with an NPC would stop at the first lewd line and then be boiled down to a persuasion attempt and if successful a d20 roll, 1-5 horrible, 6-10 forgettable, 11-15 ok, 16-20 time of your life and that would be all the details I would give. After a couple attempts to see if I was going to stick to it, the session was spent with the player's characters sleeping with each other. About half way though I got up from the table and spent the rest of the time puttering around the kitchen until everyone eventually left.
I realize the last time any of us played we were about 14 and this may be the way they remember D&D (although I don't). Or maybe we're all over 40 and this is the only way their sexual fantasies are going to ever happen. Regardless I don't want it in the game. Since these are all friends I need a polite way of getting through to them. After last session I'm not sure what to do other than start cancelling at the last minute until everyone gives up on coming.
Update: I sent basically the suggested email in the answer I accepted. While it didn't prevent all drama and hard feelings, at least it is over, they're going to continue SexyTimes while I go find another group, and most importantly we're all still friends.