Context
This question is about an online community campaign. We are around 20 players who play in a persistent universe where anyone can run a game as a GM. The system is Pathfinder 2e and players can have multiple characters so that they can play on quests designed for different levels.
Among the 20 players, the degree of participation is heterogeneous and usually only a handful of players are available for a specific session.
Issue
Recently I learnt other players don't want to play with my main character (the one with the highest level). I don't know exactly how many of them nor exactly why, but the effect is that I basically can't play this character. Each time there is a session where I could play her, a player cancels their participation, which results in the session being cancelled or delayed into oblivion.
After talking with one player specifically, I understand he considers my character too immature and getting on his character's nerves for lacking respect.
The defendant
My character is actually a 25 years old gnome: so basically a child but who still has more life experience than many adventurers. She gets serious when she thinks it is needed, but keeps a playful face (for example, when casting a spell she adds silly incantations to make it sound like a lullaby). She often disagrees with other characters but I am extra careful not to make it disrupt the game's flow (I think I am doing well, even if that's hard to tell).
She is about as respectful as one could expect a 10 yo human child with magic powers to be: not especially mean but not extra polite either.
She also has a secret identity, as a vigilante, who is way more serious than her. I use this as an excuse to justify playing this character in scenarios that wouldn't look fun enough for the child gnome to engage in.
The victims
The player I talked to seems to consider it as impossible that his character ever ends up getting along with mine. Personally, I don't think he tried it at all since all the examples he presented to me were, in my opinion, very minor points of disagreement. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that he wants to play darker games but somehow refrains from playing "dark" when my character is around. As you can imagine, bringing that up is not easy without being a douche, so I haven't yet.
About the other players, I only have suspicions. I think some simply don't like that my character is not very powerful compared to theirs. They would be right: I haven't optimized her build and, on top of that, some are simply more accustomed to the system and make a better use of their actions each turn.
As a side note, none of those players seem to have any issue with my other characters (who are both more optimized and not annoying in the same way). Also my character is not the youngest nor the least mature of all the PCs, but she is the only one like that in her level range.
Solutions?
As of now I see two solutions, but neither is very satisfying:
- I could drop this character and make a new one. Pro: I am pretty sure I could make one nobody will hate. Con: I like this character, I don't want to drop her.
- I could focus on her vigilante alter ego. Pro: I still would be able to play her. Con: I suspect it might not be enough and other players won't even try to play with the alter ego by association with the character they know.
There are probably more solutions yet to be found.
Best Answer
Evidently Not
One of the cardinal, if often unspoken, laws of gaming is that if you can't get people to play with you, then you can't play. If you can't get people to play with you whenever you bring that character in, then, no, you can't play that character at least with that group.
If your read on the situation is correct, your group has a problem with your character and they've found a very passive-aggressive but effective way of dealing with it.
Absent some situation like a school club (which sometimes have rules that force acceptance of members-- which this situation clearly isn't) I'm not sure what kind of an answer you were expecting.
What Should You Do?
But the real question isn't "can you do this?" (because obviously you cannot) but rather what should you do about it?
I can't say I think much of your group's handling of this. Passive-aggressive sneaking around, rescheduling, avoidance, etc, is not a great look, so don't interpret this as a rousing defense of their actions. On the other hand, though, you might want to give serious consideration to the possibility that you are edging into My-Guy Territory. If you often find yourself falling back on "Well, my guy did this childish thing because my guy is childish/a child," that's maybe an indication. And one of the core issues behind "my guy" is always that the my-guy lessens other peoples' fun.
The solutions I see-- again, assuming your read is correct-- are:
Equally passive on your part (but not passive-aggressive) is to simply stop playing that character, so you can at least play.
As you say, try to lean in on the "other" personality of the character, and/or dial back the aspects of it you think are grating on the other players'/characters' nerves. But you've identified the problem, here: You might not get that chance. (Also, as a side note, it's not clear to me from your description whether the other players even know about that alter ego.)
Talk to your group. Respectfully, thoughtfully, address the issue directly especially with the players who keep cancelling out. There are a lot of pros here, including most especially that you can figure out if your take on the situation is correct or not. You can find out if they'll accept your focus on the alter ego character. You can find out what specific things are annoying them, and maybe promise to tone it down or stop doing them entirely. The big con, of course, is that if you ask if you (or your character) are annoying people, they might just tell you. In detail. And then you're sort of obligated to listen, even if you elect not to act on it. But if you absolutely, positively gotta play your guy, this gives you the best shot at figuring out how to do that.