In a recent game of 10th level characters, we had a small issue in the group. To set the scene, my character was a serpentfolk witch, specializing in enchantment and specifically mind-magic. We had a were-tiger barbarian, a half-dragon bugbear paladin (worshiped Apsu the Waybringer), and a dark stalker rogue. (It was a monster campaign, in case that wasn't obvious).
Well, the focus of the campaign was supposed to be monstrous entities overcoming social taboos in order to aid a kingdom from a threat that only they would have the power to overcome. The problem was, while the majority of the group was good-aligned, the barbarian was chaotic neutral.
My character, on the other hand, was lawful good, and worshipped Abadar. Specifically, being raised in a caste-system, he was of the belief that the most good came from conforming to the law.
So, when the chaotic barbarian continuously thwarted our attempts to negotiate with the local royalty (with the gods on high who had bid us to complete the mission continuously saying that All of Us were needed) I decided to dominate her.
It worked. She stopped being chaotic, at least at the times we needed her to be. Also, having no knowledge of spellcasting, she had no idea it was me who had done it. The game continued, the GM agreed that it was within reason for my character to do this, and everyone had fun.
Except her. She got horribly upset, claiming that she should be the only one who can control her character, and that if she wants to be chaotic then she should be allowed to. No one disagreed, because we play that the player has complete control of the character, so long as the player can give some kind of reason why the character would act that way (which only really prevents characters from acting completely insane.)
So, here's my question; Was what I did wrong? I broke no rules, no one else in the group blames me (except her, and she's less mad at me and more mad at the DM for letting me do it) and I never abused the ability. All I did was keep her from being chaotic at important moments.
To put it another way: Is controlling another player's character, specifically through rules allowed in the game, acceptable behavior?
Best Answer
This is an extremely tricky and delicate situation. As a DM, I generally do not allow social skills (Diplomacy, Intimidate, etc) to be used on other PCs, and while I've never had the issue come up, I don't think I would allow mind-control magic to be used either. The reason?
People play RPGs to participate in a group story with a character under their own control.
By taking away that player's autonomy, even just at certain times and even just for specific and generally noble reasons, you're taking away that player's fun.
I played under an extremely controlling GM once, and it was a miserable experience. It was so long ago I don't remember the specifics, but one particular incident that stands out in my memory is when my character did something that all the other players considered reasonable, but which didn't follow the path the GM wanted us to follow. The GM had an NPC knock me out (no saving throw, no defenses, just boom! unconscious), throw me in a bag, and literally drag me along in the plot. He argued that it was the right thing to do because it forwarded the plot, but I stopped playing shortly after, because it's not fun when someone else controls my character. After all, why am I even there, then?
One way you might have handled your situation without taking away the player's autonomy would be to talk to her, out of game, about how her character and her choices were interfering with the group and the game. Ask her for ways that her character could be more closely integrated into the group's goals, and discuss what might happen if she insists on playing in a counterproductive manner.
As an example, in one of my more recent games, I played a chaotic barbarian in a generally good-aligned group, not unlike your situation in many ways. My character had been magically altered to have a "trigger" that would send her into an unstoppable rage when set off. At first it was an interesting roleplay opportunity, but later an unfortunate series of events caused my character to kill an important NPC while in one of those rages, which lost our party major face with key political figures. After that session, the GM suggested to me that my character might not be a good fit for the party, and asked me to consider rolling up a new one. I could see the problems and I was aware that the party was upset about the NPC's death, so I agreed.
In my situation, the GM was on the ball, both about handling things out of game, and about finding a way for my character to exit the party gracefully. Your GM could have dealt with the matter differently, by talking to the player out of character, or by telling the group to find a way to resolve it in-character (and making it possible by finding a way around the "All of you" decree).
So in short, yes, it was wrong to take away another player's autonomy and choices, no matter the reason. If it must be done, then discuss it with the player first, and make sure you have their full consent before doing it.