I'm a native speaker of French, and even though I think I have a rather good level in English, I always try to keep an open mind. (I learned English by absorbing from a lot of sources: TV, movies, video games, etc.) The problem with an open mind is that people always try to stuff things inside.
Recently I was writing some documentation for a tool we sell, and on two specifics instances, a colleague corrected what I wrote by changing a big part of the sentence. When I asked what motivated the edits, he answered that he found my sentences too "written" (i guess they didn't roll off the tongue? or that they were not really elegant). I'm ready to admit my english may be a bit stilted at times, but here i'm not really sure it's the case.
Specifically, would you say that his is a valid point? Here are the two edits in question, first my version then his.
- In our example we would for example check the cache statistics with the powershell commandline for AppFabric, but you can use whichever tool you’re most comfortable with
- In our example we would for example check the cache statistics with the powershell commandline for AppFabric, but feel free to use the tool you fancy
- This information is not readily available without knowing the ins and outs of every part of the program you’re using
- This information is not easily accessible without knowing the ins and outs of every part of the program you’re using
But to use my question as a launching pad towards something less specific, how can i find out if a turn of phrase is pleasant/good/valid? In this particular case i resorted to a simple google fight; it worked (kind of) for the "readily available" vs "easily accessible" which seemed to support my phrasing but this solution breaks down quickly when you don't have a readymade saying versus another. Are there other metrics than the "gut feeling" me and my colleague are resorting to?
Best Answer
Re "How can i find out if a turn of phrase is pleasant/good/valid?", writers.stackexchange will serve if you phrase your questions properly. Per its faq, one may ask about "Non-fiction, technical, or scholarly writing" and "Copywriting", among other genres, so long as you are not asking about "strictly interpreted correctness of English grammar or syntax rules".
In the first collegially-rewritten example, "In our example we would for example" is quite clumsy. Consider instead "In our example, one can check cache statistics with an AppFabric powershell command, but use whatever tool you most like".
Re the second example, advice to prefer readily available to easily accessible seems wrong. That a phrase is frequently used carries no weight if it's the wrong phrase. The information in question evidently is readily available, and the actual problem is it isn't easy to access without knowing all about some program.