I want to nerf the character for roleplay purposes, but I fear I might have the “My Guy Syndrome”

group-dynamicsroleplayingsystem-agnostic

I could use some assessment of my current situation. Do you think my current behaviour falls under the My Guy Syndrome and how do I best proceed in this situation?

I have a group of friends with whom I play D&D. I like to extensively roleplay my character. Currently I am playing a most stereotypical Paladin, who already caused friction in the party, mostly due to the stereotypical Rogue. I know in-character friction can sometimes be unavoidable with two stellar opposites like in this case and might even be a healthy part of roleplay, but our party already had a lengthy discussion where one group, which included me, took an unrelated, possibly dangerous decision for nothing but roleplay purposes. (We wanted to retrieve and bury an already quite decayed corpse of a fellow adventurer, which might have been a trap and which wasn't on our way, while the rest wanted to stick to our objective).

I also previously stated, that my righteous character would act by his oath and truthfully reveal our secret mission instead of lying in accordanceto my most sacred oath. (Ofc. I am not gonna be a dunce, who just spills out every detail instantly when asked, I'll be evasive or say nothing given the chance, just won't outright lie to cover it up.)

In our next session we might quite possibly face the BBEG, who is supposed to be some kind of a terrible monster. This is the first time my character is going to face a foe larger than himself and his appropriate reaction would probably be to waver at least for some time. I'd like to ask the DM to give me disadvantage until a party member has received damage, which is the point where my character would get a hold of himself.

The DM would probably just shrug and tell me "You do you", but even if the party doesn't outright object, should this behaviour lead to a character death, I am quite sure the anger would almost certainly carry on beyond our session.

For me my joy comes form playing a multi-faceted character with growth and development, while most of the other players find more joy in having their character succeed – although they are equally invested in their characters.

Edit: I'd like to add that I don't necessarily need disadvantage, this was just my first idea. I just want it to have any kind of effect. Even if the effect is negligible, I still like the personality of my character to be a little more influential than flavour text in video games.

Now I'd like to ask:

  • Is this My Guy Syndrome?
  • Do you think this is good roleplay or am I just a masochist?
  • Is it worth to bring up this topic at all given our previous disputes or should I drop it for the sake of group harmony?

Best Answer

Deliberately taking disadvantage arguably starts to fall into "My Guy Territory", but simply showing fear and hesitation through roleplay would be a good thing at many tables.

Deliberately making your character underperform is likely to harm your entire group. Most groups will take a certain amount of umbrage to that if it is done knowingly. This is especially true when the way you make your character underperform is entirely mechanical.

What I mean by that is that there are some times when a choice that is theoretically suboptimal truly advances your character development. If for instance your paladin at low level and with poor equipment chooses to donate a large amount of money to the orphanage instead of buying better armor, that is clearly suboptimal from a purely combat perspective. But it does genuinely help with your character's characterization and development as a character beyond the numbers on the sheet and depending on the story and your DM might just pay dividends in some form later on. In contrast, asking for disadvantage is obviously suboptimal in a way that does not directly advance your character much or offer future story hooks. It is purely mechanical.

There might be some argument as to whether it is "My Guy Syndrome" as that is traditionally defined. But I think many groups would object to you doing it since it harms the whole group and the objection would be, in my humble opinion, reasonable.

On the other hand, you can add non-mechanical flourishes during combat to help with your character development. (I alluded to this in a previous semi-related answer about roleplaying fear).

Instead of asking for disadvantage, simply say "[Character] reluctantly attacks, pushing through his terror at this foe". Or "[Character's] heart is pounding as he confronts the situation, but knowing he must, he strikes", etc. The GM might possibly assign disadvantage, but at least then you aren't asking for it.

Later, when it changes, you can announce for characterization purposes that the fear and hesitation are gone and change your descriptions accordingly. There is no need for this change in characterization to affect the mechanics.