[RPG] How to get someone to stop being a butt for the benefit of the other players

problem-players

I have a group of friends that on occasion play RPGs, but one of the players grates on the nerves of the other players in the group when gaming.

He is kind of a know it all, but without real proof. He in general ruins the experience with complaints about things that other players agree to be trivial and constantly interferes with other characters' actions by having his character "hold up his arm to stop the other character from moving". Most times I ignore his attempts to stop other players' intended actions by saying his character's grip fails, but the fact that it happened in the first place annoys everyone. He also metagames constantly very much to my annoyance.

Regardless, I wish to keep him in the group because he does add to the story and is going to very soon play an important role in the group as a tank which we are sorely short of. So I kinda at a loss at the moment. I have asked him about his behavior before yet it continues. I don't feel right kicking him from the group, but I feel that it also very unfair to the group. What should I do?

Best Answer

Try talking

Talk to him outside the game. Explain how people aren't having fun, then tell him what you want him to do instead of his current behavior. Keep the talk about behavior, not criticism of him personally. When people are criticized they get defensive and unhappy. When they get feedback on how to make positive changes, they are far more likely to act on it.

For example:

"I want you to play your character without using out-of-character knowledge. Think about what your character knows, and what they might do in a situation from their perspective. If I see you acting on knowledge your character wouldn't have, I'm going to ask you to stop and re-evaluate the situation.

"The other players are here to play their characters, and to be able to take action. Instead of trying to stop them or grab them, stand aside and them let go. Or, join in and help them. When you want to do something, they should do likewise."

Be willing to say Goodbye

Sometimes, people just don't fit into a gaming group. It's better for everyone if they leave. Give him a fair chance to change and see what happens. If you don't see meaningful improvement he needs to be politely asked to leave. It isn't fun to exclude people, but your other players will be better off and he'll learn a valuable lesson.

If his departure creates troubles within the story of your game, make creative edits. Take any narrative role the missing player needed to fill, and re-write it for someone else. Add or change NPCs to help things run smoothly.

You can and should tailor your game to fit to the players you have, rather than keeping someone involved that is detrimental to the group.

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