"A practical man can always make what he wants to do look like a noble sacrifice of personal inclinations to the welfare of the community. I've decided that I've got to be practical myself, and that's one of the rules. How about breakfast?" The Pirates of Ersatz, Murray Leinster
From your question I noticed a few things. Nominally, I completely agree with @mxyzplk's answer, so this should be in the way of an addendum.
It sucks to be the leader
In a RPG, it just completely sucks to be the leader. Most players when confronted with a plan, remember about fifteen percent of it for the first fifteen minutes. But they'll certainly remember when you deviate. Leaders get no additional responsibility and no perquisites, but they get all the blame.
In the military this is mitigated with the clear distinction between commissioned and non-commissioned officers. Not least because the isolation provides both support structures and necessary emotional distance (to a degree, of course). Being "elected" leader, especially with the pack dynamics of typical werewolf games is an extremely dubious honour that I'd flatly reject.
The fact that while you may be leader in character but not dominant over the player group makes things even stickier. You need to assert authority within the realm of the narrative without actually having that authority in reality. Again, something that will cause friction and resentment any way you cut it.
Depressing environments bleed emotions into play
The world of darkness does what it says on the tin. Having played in a horror game myself recently, the iconic themes of the world of darkness do not make for "happy" or, for that matter, validating game experiences in the main. (And, if they do, it's a violation of genre.) When you are faced with the stresses of being "leader" which are compounded by the stressors of the philosophies baked into the setting, no wonder you're having a rough time.
Some solutions:
On leadership:
Fundamentally, a gaming group is a relationship. Bad relationships that do not provide validation are a drain on mental and emotional resources. When they don't work, cut them off or change them. In your case, I'd play a game that's a bit lighter in tone and focus: a nice traditional dungeon crawl or similar heroic fantasy.
I'd also reject the leader role for all the reasons I outlined above. Or, if they force it upon you, demand the perquisites and authority that is concomitant with it: they can't have it both ways.
On the group:
I've found that group character creation creates a far more cohesive group. By having entangled backstories, the group can draw upon a deeper understanding of each others' characters, creating the basis for empathy and respect within the characters, instead of the necessary simulacrum imposed by players.
By articulating desired tropes, a "palette" (as Microscope) calls it, before the game begins, you'll be able to shape the narrative of the group in directions that you want to play. This allows you to avoid the nominally depressive tropes that come default with the setting (not limited to world of darkness) and describe a source for future characters to connect with the current group. Replacement characters, if they tie into the shared narrative, will continue to maintain the tropes and social trust.
Be practical:
As players, we shape our narratives to an amazing degree. Emulate Bron Hoddan in the Pirates of Ersatz. While playing, you will be aware of the desired practical outcome that will provide validation and satisfy your personal goals. With that outcome in mind, you then frame it in terms that suit both your character's narrative and the expected narratives of the other players such that they will act to reinforce your framing and thereby your outcome. If you fight their narrative control by "being a loner," it is difficult to achieve your own goals. If you help them work as a team and appear to sacrifice nobly on their behalf while executing your own goals... the entire process is smoother and more effective.
Note that I am not saying to lie. Instead, consider the causal constructions of your actions, the explanations for those actions to be an aspect of the role * separate* from the actions themselves. By manipulating the framing as well as the actions, you can provide the necessary hooks for the other players to support your version of reality, rather than rejecting it and, by extension, you.
Postscript
Looking at your comments to other questions, you should absolutely give this group two last tries. In the first trial (of one or two games), try a heroic romp where you can be "Big Damn Heroes." Require the players who need the spotlight be leader. In the second trial (again of one or two games), try a game where players can intrigue against each other (I'd recommend Ars Magica, but then again I recommend it for most things. Most games support PvP intrigue quite ably.) If neither game provides the validation you need and the spotlight the other players need, move on. Before you do anything, take a month break, sit down, relax, and try to game with some strangers. I'm pretty sure that if you go looking for games in the chat section of this site... someone will oblige. For more on the framing problem, I'd quite recommend Rule 34 by Stross, as it describes it in a delicious narrative context.
Best Answer
The Situation
The Problem
The Cause
In my experience, these are signs you're trying to offer solutions to people who don't think they need them. Take another look at The Situation above. Can you imagine a mindset where someone would choose to accept that? You know your friends best, but some possibilities:
1) They don't see any problem. Perhaps they don't have a strong aversion to interpersonal/player conflict. Thus, to them, what you describe as "sour sessions" may register as "slightly suboptimal but still fun sessions", even if they include things like yelling that would be dealbreakers for me, and it sounds like maybe for you.
2) They acknowledge it's a problem, but don't think it's a preventable one. We all know that people aren't numbers and can't be dealt with as neatly and systemically. Lacking as our society does any common education to the contrary, many people think that means there are no techniques that can be learned and applied to consistently improve social outcomes. To them, arguments are like hurricanes: something to be dealt with as best you can, not eliminated.
3) They acknowledge there may be a solvable problem, but aren't confident your solution is worth it. Mapping out expectations in advance costs time and effort for uncertain benefit. Starting the game is fun now. I don't think it's just this, because if it keeps happening most people would look for any solution, but it could go along with a less extreme #1 or #2 if they don't think there's much of a problem or it's not likely to be solved.
The Solution
It's gonna depend on the exact cause, so the numbers roughly correspond, but it'll probably take all of the below in some extent.
1) Explain the problem. This the most important step. If the other players don't already see it as a problem for them, then you'll have to share that it's a problem for you, using I-statements: "When XYZ happens, I get frustrated. Even though we always work it out, I've found that I really don't enjoy the sessions where it happens in the first place.1 Can we try to change that?" Whatever their own attitudes, it sounds like they don't realize how serious an issue this is for you.2 If, after you explain your position, people don't agree that it's not fun unless it's fun for everyone, well, at that point it's time to consider whether you want to stay under those conditions. But hopefully that won't be necessary.
2) Offer a solution. You've been doing that, but you may need to offer examples of how what you're suggesting has actually improved things for actual gamers. If you've played in other groups where what you're trying to do has worked, now would be the time to say so, but only if it's relevant to the actual problem you agreed on in step 1. Try to avoid any "inside baseball" terminology like we use around here; just make it as straightforward as possible and explain how the information you're looking for will affect your decisions. "I was thinking about playing a bookish healer this time, but if there's gonna be any PVP action, I obviously need to do a more well-rounded combat medic. Can we establish that now, so I can decide one way or the other?"
3) Limit the scope and investment. I got a group to actually go through the Same Page Tool for the second time in my life yesterday, because we're all strangers and the GM joined last so none of us knew what we were getting into. The first time, we'd been playing for a year and the campaign had kind of stalled. Otherwise, it seems to go over like a lead balloon. I've had much better luck sticking with the one or two points that are most important to me. Obviously, this is easier when you're the GM: "For this game, we're going with a strong $GENRE feel. You're expected to work together. My rulings on crazy stunts will mostly depend on whether it advances the group's goals or not." But it can also be done as a player: "Hey, let's agree to not have any player-killing or -stealing this time." "Should we run away when appropriate, or is this gonna be full speed ahead, no holds barred?" Obviously it's not that simple, but after you've done #1 and #2, it should be easier.3
1For completeness's sake, if that dialogue isn't true for you, it's possible you're trying to fix something that isn't even really a problem for you, just an artifact of how you think Good Gaming Groups operate. I don't think that's the case here, though.
2One of the things Ask a Manager frequently says is "You've asked your employee to stop doing X a few times, but have you explained to them that this is a serious issue that is putting their job [or in this case, your enjoyment of the game] in jeopardy?" Make sure there's weight behind your words.
3And whatever you do, don't use the phrase "anti-intellectual attitude" in any discussions with someone you want to improve relations with. :P